Timbuk-3

I thought I'd be a nice guy and take my mother to a movie today. The new Matthew McConaughey movie, "The Lincoln Lawyer". It's based on a book by one of my mom's favourite suspense authors. It was a really clever movie and I recommend it to everyone.

On the way to my mother's house, there are a couple windy-twisty roads that I must take and it was on one of these dusty streets that some asshole, behind the wheel of a Hyundai, ripped past me going so fast that he slid partially into my lane, almost forcing me off the overpass to the highway below. It goes without saying, that he scared the ever-lovin' piss out of me, and I honked my horn in protest.

His shitty little import quickly disappeared into the distance, but I managed to catch up to him at the traffic light, where he was forced to stop. Obviously recognizing my truck as the one that honked at him, he made every desperate attempt to shake, shimmy and twist his body around to flip me the finger. The light soon turned to a jaded green and he began to creep his car forward at a snails pace. I was in no way late for picking my mom up, but at the same time, being the impatient fellow that I am, I don't want to waste time, trailing behind some asshole with a chip on his shoulder, so I turned into the left lane and sped up to pass him. That's when the douche bag, decided to race ahead. When I'd fall back to let him pass, he'd match my speed and slow down as well. Then when I'd speed up, he'd do the same. It was frustrating, but I wasn't going to allow him to get my goat. Some people thrive on that shit, but they're all f*cking retards and don't deserve the satisfaction.

The next traffic light was red and once more, he would contort himself around to flip me off in a number of ways. It was comical, as ridiculous as it was. I was turning right, but there was no way this f*cker was allowing me past. I don't understand why, but it seemed pretty important to this fellow. When I finally managed to shoe-horn my ass past his Hyundai piece of shit, I rolled down my window to give him the gears, and that's when he started shouting at me in some god foresaken gibberish that I doubt is even a valid language, and flipping me off every which way from Tuesday. Angry, he was, in whatever dialect that shit was, and very animated as well.

"Get a real car, you f*cking loser!" is all I said. [FYI: I hate Hyundai's. I would rather walk, than ever own one of those f*cking things.]

The whole scenario didn't (and still doesn't) bother me as much as the fact that this f*cking idiot can come over from whatever third world country he came from, where they barely have roads, let alone traffic laws, and he can still get a driver's license and commence to endanger everyone's lives with his antics!

There ought to be a law. If you come from a country where it's more popular to ride farm animals than it is to sit behind the wheel of an automobile, then you shouldn't be allowed a driver's license. Ride the f*cking bus. I know, I know. There are a ton of freaks who ride the bus. However, if you've never ridden inside anything but a cattle car or an over-croweded bus, then you ARE a freak!!!

You should feel luck to be in a country like this. All the freedoms that are afforded you, not to mention our most excellent health care. With those freedoms, however, you DO NOT have the freedom to disobey the traffic laws. I'm not angel myself, having a "heavy foot" from time to time, but I've never driven like a madman riding a rabid camel. That's just f*cking stupid.

People like this f*ckhead, should be deported. Back to Buttf*ckia with your ass. Back to the land of rickshaws and camels and handfuls of sand caught down in your britches. And while you're there... Go f*ck yourself, too! Of course, this is just my opinion. I could be wrong, but..., AAH, I doubt it.