Tongue Piercing

Actress Drew Barrymore on The Late Show with David Letterman, showing off her tongue piercing.  Ugh!

For as long as people have been practicing this type of body modification in modern times, I've been questioning the motives behind getting the piercing in their tongues, only to repeatedly be met with the response, "Oh.  Yooou knoooow!"  

Well I don't know.  I am going on public record, that I do not know why people continue to do this.  I certainly doubt it's because people wish their speech to sound like they're gargling marbles.  So the reasoning continues to elude me.  I can only assume it's along the same lines as why people stick all that shit on their faces, necks, and nether regions.  Just to be different.  That's ludicrous.

I can only admit to knowing how I've repeatedly had my pierced over the years.  And I've never sought a professional to yank on my tongue, then drive a railroad spike through it.  I've done mine the old fashioned way.  The way my father did it, the way my granddad did his, and his father before him, I'm sure.

Forever and ever, I've been notorious for biting my tongue.  Chewing whatever food I have in my mouth, enjoying the taste then all of a sudden...  YEOOOUCH!!!!  A slice is taken outta my tongue.  Usually it's something mild and it only bleeds for a minute or two.  I am reminded of this because today, at work, while snacking on some animal crackers, I had a similar occurrence.  I'm not sure how I managed to take out a chunk at the corner of my mouth.  Not really a chunk so much as a jab or a stab.  That bled for a few good minutes, marring the gentle sweetness of the Arrowroot snack.

The moment that is most memorable for me, though, would have to be back when I was going to school at SIAST.  There was a pizza night in the cafeteria.  The kitchen had made tons of pizzas of varying flavours.  I recall standing with some friends and taking a bite of pizza, when BOOM!!!  I bit my tongue.  Immediately I felt a rush of salty warmth, and knew immediately that my mouth was filling with blood.  I managed to get the bleed under control, but later upon inspection, realized that I'd not only bit my tongue near the back of my mouth, but had also taken a sizeable chunk out of it in the process.

The spot has since healed and thankfully I have not bitten that spot again.  At the time yes.  Repeatedly, in fact, that I bit the tender area, due to all the swelling in the affected area.  Today, I guess I've moved on to greater things.  Things like choking.  Yay.  I'm so lucky.