If Only Joe P Could Moonwalk

People flew off the handle when O.J. Simpson was not guilty of brutally slaying his ex-wife, Nicole and her friend, Ron Goldman.  Thousands rioted in the streets of Los Angeles for six days, when L.A. cops were acquitted of the beating of Rodney King, despite the video evidence.  Or after being bombarded with an avalanche of circumstantial evidence, Casey Anthony was found not guilty of murdering her daughter Caylee, America went ape-shit.  

These are just three examples of people being presumed guilty after having their fair day in court and society lashing out at the judicial process and how Lady Justice turned a blind eye.  How justice failed the fallen victims of each case.  Yet Michael Jackson, on several occasions, was accused of fondling children, gets overlooked.  He even settled out of court, to avoid further scrutiny, but this apparently isn't a sign of a guilty man, but that of an "innocent man avoiding slander".  I call BULLSHIT!!!

In this society, apparently, if you can put out semi-entertaining music, with a decent beat and some slick dance steps, you can get away with fondling children.  I speculate just how far Michael Jackson could've pushed the envelope to escape persecution from society.

"Hey!  Did you hear Michael Jackson slayed five people and buried them under the monkey cage at Neverland Ranch?"

"Yeah, I did.  But he created the Moonwalk dance, so it's okay!"

Admittedly, there's one or two songs that he put out over his career that are pretty good.  In my opinion, most of his songs are over-rated.  Definitely, not worth looking past his pedophilia for, though.

Last year, Penn State's football coach, Joe Paterno was fired for failing to report the [then] alleged actions of his assistant coach, Jerry Sandusky.  Even though he followed the university's minimum requirement in the handling of the situation, in the end, because he failed to report the incidents to the state police, he was terminated for "covering the situation up".  So this man.  This historical football coach, who lead thousands to college football greatness.  This man who's career accomplishments are second to none, lost his entire legacy due to public opinion.  The record books have been erased and rewritten.  The statue that once graced the hallowed ground in front of Beaver Stadium, was removed in July of 2012.  A truly sad conclusion to a great legacy...  Now..., if Joe Paterno would have been able to Moonwalk out of these allegations and told everyone to "Beat It!", then who knows what might have been.

American Justice is not the one with the blind eye.  It's YOU.  Society.

Water is wet.  The sky is blue.  A tiger can't change it's stripes.  AND, Michael Jackson was a pedophile.

Aardvarks Just Look Stupid

It's no secret that I question the validity and the existence of God.  I tend to live my life based in reality and logic.  That mankind evolved from apes over the course of millions of years.  Frankly, the idea of an invisible man living in the clouds who has full reign over how people should act in this life and the next, simply feels preposterous to me.

I don't fault anyone who needs to lean on "him" or the bible to get through the rough parts of their lives.  When I hurt my leg a few years ago, I too, needed a crutch to get through the tough times. All I request is that you keep your christian ethics and beliefs to yourself.  Other than in this forum, I never push my non-beliefs on people, so why should I listen to their drivel?

The reason for this blog today, though, is spider webs.

"Huh?!?" You seem stumped, but yes! I said spider webs!  There is a song that was released a few years ago by an artist whose name escapes me, but it posed the question, "What if God was one of us?"  For the purpose of this blog, I will suspend my disbelief momentarily.

When I got home from work today, I exited my garage and walked straight into a spider web.  Why the little motherf*cker had to place an intricate web in the doorway, I will never understand.  This, however, is not the first time it's happened.  I was leaving for work a few weeks ago and the same thing happened at my front door, only this time the spider had constructed an elaborate web that spanned from the door to the screen door and back again.  It was quite spectacular, I assume, as I was twisting and spiraling across my front lawn, struggling desperately to remove it from my hair, face and teeth. 

So back to the God stuff...  'What if God were one of us?  Just a stranger on a bus, trying to make his way home.'  I think that's one of the lines in the song.  First of all, if God were among us, why would he be taking a bus?  Have you seen the freaks who ride the bus?  I know that God is "all-loving", but even he has to have his limits.  Sheesh.  Guaranteed, though.  The bugger never went for a walk in the park.  If he had, the first moment he walked through a spider web, he'd have abolished the world of spiders.  This much is for certain.  That's the first thing I'd get rid of if I were King of the World.  Get rid of the bugs and the spiders.  There's no need for them.  Birds can eat something else and aardvarks just look stupid.

This is just one of the reasons why I believe there is no God.  I have lots of reasons, mostly logical ones, but this is just one of the reasons.

Motherfreakin' Cessna

In recent weeks and months, there's been a brash of similar pictures like this one making their way to Facebook.  It almost seems like people are taking any crash photos of cars and tagging them with messages to "Stop Texting" while driving.  It is a valid message, I agree, and the more people recognize the dangers, the more apt they will be to resist the temptations of texting behind the wheel.

With the exception of this photo which promptly displays a sign posted at the site of this catastrophic car wreck, how does one know for a fact that all these accidents are the result of drivers "LOLing" while driving?  I'm sure there's a whole host of different reasons.

Years ago, I almost drove into a parked car because a CD case slid off the seat and I was trying to retrieve it, because: I just had to know the name of that song that was playing.  Nowadays, people have their MP3's and satellite radio, so no need for CDs.

More recently, I did meet with a close call.  I'd just finished re-fueling my truck and got in to begin my way home.  I'd barely left the vicinity of the gas pumps, when I heard a sound reminiscent of a plastic bag rustling in a breeze.  I turned my head to the right, towards the source of the unnerving sound and discovered a dragonfly that had somehow found it's way into the cab of my Honda Ridgeline.  This thing was quite large.  Without exaggeration, I'd estimate it's size was roughly the equivalent of a Cessna airplane.  F*cking huge!! Panicked, I slammed on my brakes.  I came to a screeching halt, the car behind me had to swerve out of the way to avoid rear ending me.  F*cker was following too close anyway, probably.  I leaped out of my seat, leaving the door open behind me, stammering at the prospect of what to do next, when suddenly, as stealthy as it had entered my vehicle, it flew out again.

Luckily, it happened in the secure confines of a parking lot.  If I'd have been on the highway, travelling at speeds of 100 or 110 km (60-70mph) and that f*cker had decided to go ape shit, who knows what might have happened?  Single vehicle rollover, most likely.  Ironically, when the police investigate such accidents, they rarely surmise that an insect may have been involved...

I never had my cell phone handy, so I wasn't able to snap a photo of this life-sized dragon.... fly, but if I had, I likely would have had an accident.

Moral of the story!  Keep your windows closed when refueling your vehicle, as you never know what creatures may be lurking.  And stay in school!  Typing "LOL" just makes you looking f*cking stupid!

The F*cking Idiot Defense

I recall, about a year ago, a visit to Costco.  The parking lot there is made up of one ways.  Traffic travels in one direction to access parking, then travel in the opposite direction the next lane over to do the same.  I happened to be trolling up one of the lanes looking for a vacant spot, when I was greeted halfway down by a car travelling in the opposite direction.  I honked my horn to get the driver's attention, rolling down my window in the process.  

"You're going in the wrong direction!" I called out.  Each lane is clearly marked, so her response to my comment was completely unexpected, and pretty f*cking stupid, might I add.

"I'm from out of town," she said, "So I didn't know."

Stupidity is not a f*cking excuse.  If a person held a loaded gun up to someone and squeezed the trigger, thus shooting that someone in the face, the excuse of "I'm from out of town, so I didn't know the gun would go off..." is not valid.  Although, that being said, I wonder why more people don't try to use the "F*cking Idiot Defense" when on trial.  (*It'd be pretty entertaining to see CNN's Nancy Grace's response to this.)

Fast forward to tonight.  I just happened to catch some of the local news, which reported on the Train vs Vehicle accident that occurred south of the city.  Apparently, a couple of women, also from out of town, were travelling to a horse show in a rural community.  They were heading south when they approached a railroad which dissected the road on which they were travelling.  According to the news report, the driver never noticed the train fast approaching until it blew it's horn.  Instead of slowing to a stop, she instead opted to press down hard on the gas, in a desperate attempt to beat the train.  A stunt which her pick-up truck lost, as the train struck the rear of the box, sending the truck into the air.  As if that weren't bad enough, what I've not yet mentioned is, they had a horse trailer in-tow, which did not fair as well as the truck did.

Two horses were inside the trailer.  One, thankfully, died on impact, while the second, lived for several minutes after the accident, with broken legs and in, no doubt, agonizing pain.  It's one thing to put your own safety at risk for an unbelievably stupid stunt, but when you put others, is just blatantly insane.  The horses, according to the news reporter, were described as "best friends", "pets", and "family members".  The combined value of the two horses approach $100K.

I'm no advocate for horses.  I don't find them to be the beautiful creatures that everyone touts them to be, but at the same time, they are living creatures that deserve to expire in a more gracious and graceful manner.

It was mentioned that "unfamiliarity with the area" may have been a factor in the accident, but before the news report concluded, the camera flashed on the railroad crossing sign, which also sported a stop sign, similar to the one pictured above.  So I question the "unfamiliarity with the area" defense.  No matter where you go in this country, the signs pretty much all look alike.  Even the ones in Quebec, which are obscured with that f*cked up language of french, are the same.  This is why they use different shapes and illustrations on the signs.  I would even dare to go as far as to say, anywhere in the world, the signs are pretty much alike.  So once more, being from out of town isn't a valid excuse, here.  I hope that the RCMP who are investigating the incident, throws every fathomable charge at the driver.  The "F*cking Idiot Defense" should not play a factor in her escaping prosecution.

Gorilla Warfare

I remember as a small child, passing through the living room of my home, while my dad was viewing the news.  World news, to me at the time, never mattered much.  In fact, most of what lied beyond the perimeter of my childhood home, never mattered to me very much.  Life seemed pretty simple. Confined.  Wrapped neatly in a small package.  So when I overheard the newscaster reporting about guerrillas fighting in Central America, I immediately pictured large, hairy primates uprising against their human oppressors.  I was curious as to how these creatures were able to operate firearms, let alone aim and fire accurately.  Although they possessed apposable thumbs, who was brave (or foolish) enough to train them?  I couldn't figure out why the authorities couldn't simply go in, and tranquilize the gorillas and lock them back up into their cages, or send them back to Africa, where they belonged.  What the hell were gorillas doing in Central America, anyway?

For the next few days, I would sit with my dad, watching the news and hoping to catch a glimpse of the clever primates.  They must have been very well-trained, I thought, for I never once saw them on the newscast.  There were always these dirty looking hispanics running through the trees, firing off their guns, aiming into the distance.  "Them monkeys are crafty." I thought.

It wasn't until some years later, when my age entered into the double-digits, that I learned that the freedom fighters in question, were not of the monkey-variety, but of a more humanoid form.  Bandits and criminals hiding in the hills of Central America, fighting for their freedom to grow illegal narcotics, rather than succumb to a more law-abiding way of life, of growing banana's and coffee and whatever the f*ck else they grow in Central America.

I guess, in the end, I was half right.  Though they weren't intelligent apes fighting against their oppressors, they were stupid animals...

The Little Tramp

I had some time to kill before going into my doctors appointment today, so I took the opportunity to continue listening to the Howard Stern program that was repeating on Sirius 100.  Rarely do I tune into any other channel on Sirius, as I really enjoy the Stern programming, but it is a rare occasion that I get to listen to a show in it's entirety, so being allowed a few extra moments today, was a gift, for lack of better terminology.

Howard was, like always, at the top of his game, this time ragging on the Tony Awards, which aired last night on CBS.  Howard praised Neil Patrick Harris, who hosted the event, as being fantastic.  Harris has been on the Stern program in the past and has always proved himself to be a great guest.  However, the rest of the Tony Awards, did not meet up to the notoriety that it's self-boasting tends to celebrate.  Howard proceeded to ridicule just about everything and everyone associated with the program, stating that he greatly disapproved of the pretentious attitudes displayed by the participants.  Even going so far as to poke fun at acting legend Bernadette Peters, who introduced an award using a high society sounding tone of voice and accent that greatly distanced her from where her roots lie.  "She's from f*ckin' Queens!" Howard chuckled.

Disappointed greatly in the awards show, Howard explained that he wanted to got to bed and watch True Blood, before turning in for the evening.  Howard works a very early time for his radio program, so late nights for the King of All Media, are a rarity.  Only he found himself with about twenty minutes to spare, before True Blood was to begin.  He could've continued to watch the Tony's, but he was so turned off by the behavior of "those theater types", that he opted instead to self-pleasure himself.

This is a subject that Howard speaks about quite often on his show.  He's a married man, with a beautiful wife and a healthy relationship, but sometimes a man's gotta do, what a man's gotta do.  Besides, which his lovely wife was out of town.  So to his laptop he went.  

Howard is a huge proponent of the YouPorn website.  It's like YouTube, only with a more "colourful" catalog.  He also tends to lean towards watching "babysitter porn".  I've never seen it, but every time I hear about it, I think of the movie "The World According To Garp", starring Robin Williams.  I'm not sure if it's because he has sex with the babysitter in the movie or that other scene where his wife accidentally bites off the dick of a guy she was giving a hummer to in the driveway of her house.  Either way, the subject doesn't seem very appealing to me.  And it didn't seem to interest Howard either, though I'm sure it was for entirely different reasons.  He claims to have watched the same video over and over several times, so decided to look for a new subject.

The Howard Stern Program has had a lot of adult entertainers come visit the studio over the years and so he drew inspiration from one of his past guests, Little Lupe.  He typed her name into the search engine on the YouPorn site, but found nothing by her.  Some "artists" wish to retain their integrity and resent the free status that is YouPorn, just as some mainstream programs cannot be found on YouTube.   Instead of finding Little Lupe under the YouPorn site, a plethora of other "Little's" came to light, including Little Person porn, which is funny as hell to watch.  Bridget the Midget....  Ha ha....  I tells ya....  But Howard wanted nothing of the sort.  Instead he found something that sparked his attention.  "Little Tramp Has Sex For The First Time".

Howard began explaining the premise to his co-host, Robin Quivers and his audience, but I blocked it all out, laughing hysterically because I thought at first it was old sex footage of Charlie Chaplin, aka "The Little Tramp"...  Ha ha haaa....  Can you imagine?  I certainly did.  I laughed so hard, tears began to form in the corners of my eyes.  I continued to laugh as I crossed the parking lot, heading for my doctor's office and even as I approached the reception desk, I still had a stupid-ass grin on my face.  It was a perfect end to an otherwise troubling day.

Only The Good Die Young

At long last, I sat down tonight and viewed the movie "50/50", which stars Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Seth Rogen.  Levitt portrays a cancer patient who learns that he's got a rare form of cancer that has a survival rate of 50%.  The story shows how he deals with his own mortality, but more importantly, how even though he's able to bravely manage his condition, he is oblivious to how those around him are being affected.  The movie is loosely based on a friend of Seth Rogen's, so the subject matter hit pretty close to home for the Canadian actor.

My own father, passed away a little over thirteen years ago, succumbing to his own cancers (yes, cancers plural).  I can't recall which two types of cancer he had.  I believe one was in his esophagus, which is one that he'd battled (unknowingly) for a number of years.  There was another cancer two, which has spread from the first, but I can't recall what it was.  Needless to say, by the time medical help was sought, it was too late and he died a couple of months later.

That is pretty much my only experience with cancer directly.  Indirectly, I had a friend around the same time that was stricken with testicular cancer.  At the time, in a show of solidarity, a few of us friends all shaved our heads, bald, so he would not be the only one to stand out.  I thought it was a nice gesture, and I think he appreciated it.  I remember the night we all did it, the shaving of our heads, that is.  No one really knew what they were doing, but had some fun with it all the same.  I remember my friend, D_____, the fellow with the cancer, went first, opting for a mohawk, before finally taking it all off.  Next was T_____, his "toxic twin" (drinking pal), who instead, shaved the top of his head, leaving the sides and back, resembling himself as an old man, before finally taking off all his hair.  A couple more did it before it was finally my turn.  As I'd stated, no one really knew what they were doing at first, so there were a lot of nicks and cuts on those first few craniums, before everyone honed their craft.  By the time it was my turn, all hair was removed without incident or injury.

Watching the movie, tonight, though, I came to a conclusion.  A sort of theory, if you will.  Despite my outward appearance, I've always remained fairly healthy.  My family seem to all thing that I am destined for an early grave, but they're full of shit and should really worry about their own affairs and leave my shit alone. However, I truly believe that I can't (and likely won't) ever be stricken with anything major like cancer, and this is the reason why:  I don't have anyone to share it with.

By this I mean, the people that I've experienced cancer and serious shit with, have always had a strong family presence or a loved one like a girlfriend or alike to lean on in times of strife.  I don't have that.  I'm not particularly close (in that way) to my family, nor do I have anyone of significant importance in my life, like a girlfriend or anyone.  No one I would burden with trivial shit like cancer.  I haven't a soul, which I believe will ultimately save my life.  "You can't lose everything, if you don't have anything to lose."  The downside, of course, is the fact that I will probably continue to be lonely and miserable.  So it's not all sunshine and roses.

I do not have cancer, nor do I speculate that I will be stricken with it anytime soon.  I do, however, go into the hospital on June 29th, to be put under anesthesia for some sort of procedure to find out why I continue to choke on food, but I doubt that will be anything too terribly serious, and doubt very much that I would die from such a routine procedure.  I mean, f*ck!  I've had the same routine performed on me a half dozen times, while completely conscious, so the positive is that I'm going to be under some heavy duty narcotics, and drugs are ALWAYS fun.

Rocker Billy Joel has the song "Only The Good Die Young".  There are no worries by this cat, as I'm not as good as people think I am, so I won't be dying anytime soon.  Besides which.., I'm a Juggalo!  And wicked clowns, never NEVER DIE!!!